a distant memory.

six months ago we were planning the final details of our epic journey, the image of us driving off together into the unknown helping to distract from the often debilitating pain we were feeling after the loss of my mother. six weeks ago we were on the road, windows rolled down, living out loud, the wind whipping in our ears, the radio blaring, helping to drown out the melancholic dialogue in our heads. we don't have a distraction anymore, the trip nothing but a distant memory, the sadness weighing on us.

i am home alone all day, every day. i'm drowning in free time. i often find myself wondering where the day went, six hours gone & all i have to show for it are teary eyes & the seventeen lists i've made in an attempt to get my head together. & it's not any easier for luke. he's alone most evenings & is dealing with an equally exhausting internal struggle. turns out life can be fucking difficult, fucking complicated & fucking ugly.

but we are determined to rise from the pit we have found ourselves in. our pit of self pity. our pit of sorrow. our pit of cruel words, missed opportunities, crushing heartache, mistakes made. we are determined to get back to us. the us that goofs off & carries on. the us that decides hitting all ten restaurants on the best of ottawa list is a must do. the us that never turns down an invite from friends. the us that chases down new craft beer releases & consumes them in moderation. the us that considers date nights & short getaways a priority. the us that is constantly setting - & acheiving - goals. 

family, please continue to be patient with & supportive of us. friends, please continue to reach out to us, even though we've turned down so many generous invitations. life, please be kind to us as we attept to figure you out.

home, bittersweet, home.

no, we haven't fallen off the face of the earth or disappeared into the wilderness [ if only], we're home & back to reality. back to a reality that, quite frankly, is a total mindfuck. we went from five months of unbridled freedom, to two days a week of free time, with only seven days in between to get our heads around it. total. mind. fuck.

since arriving home we've spent hours upon hours pondering our life. & life in general. & the meaning of life. &, for the life of us [ ! ] are not able to understand how working [ sometimes ten to twelve hours a day ] five of seven days a week while we are at our healthiest & most capable of adventuring, to pay for a life we barely have time to live &/or to sock money away for a future we are not even guaranteed makes any sense.

to be clear, it's not that we dislike work. it's the opposite, in fact. we love & respect work. without work we'd never have been able to take five months off to travel north america in a van this summer. without work i wouldn't have been able to spend five weeks walking across spain three years ago. without work we would never had the opportunity to honeymoon in europe for three months [ & subsequently move to dublin ]. &, perhaps most importantly, without work we would never have been able to press PURCHASE & book the flights that reunited luke with his family in poland after almost fifteen years in canada [ & awoke the wanderlust inside of us ]

all that said & thought about, it seems to us we should be out exploring NOW while our movements aren't limited by the aches & pains that come with aging. NOW when we will benefit from all the world has to teach us. NOW before the sea swallows up the maldives & the black rhino becomes extinct. hell, NOW before world war III breaks out.

so what next?

up island & back east.

comox, courtenay, cumberland, campbell river, sayward, telegraph cove, port mcneill, port hardy, tofino. we've covered a lot of ground since we left our beloved port renfrew. & though the west coast - with its tall trees, rugged coastline & driftwood lined beaches - is a slice of heaven, we haven't found a permanent place here.

while port renfrew was a dream, the population in the off season dwindles to two hundred & forty [ from five thousand ]. & while the idea of spending the winter cozied up in front of a roaring fire in a remote town on the wild west coast wearing plaid shirts & hiking boots is romantic, the reality is we could very well end up like john & wendy from the shining if we did [ heeeeere's lukey ].

tofino was stunning, & a close second to renfrew, but as far as we can tell, the only housing options are the campground just outside of town [ as much as we love living in our little van, it's getting to be autumn. & winter follows autumn. & camping on the west coast of british columbia for an entire winter would get ugly ] or staff accomodation [ we're almost forty. 'nuff said ].

the third [ & most practical ] option was the comox valley. but let's face it, as beautiful as it is, it's not the west coast.

so, if you haven't already surmised, i'll spell it out. we're not staying on the island. & that's ok. as you know, after my mother passed in january our plan went from making a permanent move to seeing what was out there. to healing. to exploring. to self discovery. to taking a journey. to having an adventure. & what an adventure we had, & will continue to have. we're heading east with a van full of memories, heads full of dreams & hearts full of hope.

for those of you that only know us via the internet, we'll keep posting. to those of you at home, we look forward to sharing our stories with you - live & in stereo.

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end of season.

fishing season is coming to an end here in port renfrew & that means it's just about time for us to move on. we've got three & a half days of toilet scrubbing, bed making, pantry cleaning & fish processing left. & as much as we're looking forward to wandering again, it turns out we're really going to miss this place. & these people.

though we've only been here three weeks, it feels like we've been here for ever. we've developed close relationships with a few of our fellow seasonal workers, we've fallen in love with the wilderness that surrounds us & our senses have become accustomed to the sights, sounds & smells of this beautiful port town.

we'll miss the sound of the ocean breeze whispering through the trees, the whizzing of the motorcycle clubs that come into town for lunch, the beeping of the golf cart when we housekeepers are driving out to the hiker huts in the morning & the ruckus the locals raise when the pub lets out [ at ten o'clock. eleven o'clock if you're lucky ].

we'll miss the smell of uncle mike's dinners, the day's catch being portioned in the fish room, peter's whiskey cigars & the clear, fresh water of lizard lake [ it is my new favourite smell. fresh water. i want to bottle it ].

we'll miss the wildlife sightings [ bears, banana slugs, sea lions, lizard lake salamanders, porpoises, humpback whales ], the spotty wifi [ ok, maybe not the spotty wifi ], the log balancing competitions [ i've gotten rather good ] & the blackberries that grow along the road.

but it'll be wonderful to return to the freedom we had. to do what we like when we like. it's been work, work, work for weeks & we've only had one or two days off since we started.  it's been worth it, though - we've doubled the money in our bank account. & that, my friends, means we can double our time left on the road.

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bought a fishing licence, got a job.

if you follow us on instagram you may be wondering how the heck we found ourselves in port renfrew [ winter popluation two hundred & forty ], how the heck we found ourselves working & what the heck we are thinking. well...

we left victoria & made our way up the west coast of the island. our intention was to vist mystic & sombrio beaches as suggested by my brother, but with all the unscheduled stops to trek down unmarked trails, by the time we got mystic beach it was getting late so we opted to make our way to the end of the road & into port renfrew where we would spend the night - & head back to mystic the next morning.

we passed the 'welcome to port renfrew' sign & saw a few houses. then the general store. then a marina. then a dump. then the coastal cafe. then a few more houses. then trailhead fishing resort. then the port renfrew hotel [ & pub ]. then a second marina. & that was it. that was the town.

by that time it was early evenng. time to find a spot to spend the night. time to have a beer. the first marina offered overnight parking for ten dollars, so that was an option, but after a conversation with the bartender at the pub, it was decided we would stay right there, in the parking lot, for free.

just before ten o'clock [ closing time. even on a friday night ] we made our way to the van to get cozy & get some sleep. our plan for morning was to go to trailhead for a fishing licence [ luke would finally get some fishing done ], go to botanical beach to explore the tidal pools, do the china beach to mystic beach hike, visit sombrio beach & head to lake cowichan.

well, our plans changed. drastically.

we woke at 8 o'clock [ the truck delivering beer to the pub was parked directly behind us & wasn't exactly quiet ], went to coastal kitchen for two [ five fucking dollar ]  cappuccinos & went to trailhead for the licence. within two minutes of arriving we were offered jobs.

for some reason, as we were waiting for the licence to print, luke mentioned that he had worked part time as a fishmonger. when connie [ didn't know her name then ] heard this she immediately offered luke a job in the fish room - cutting, rinsing, packaging & labelling fish. huh?

our initional reaction was, what? work? here? but we're on vacation!? [ all in our heads, of course. what luke said out loud was 'is there work for my wife?' & the answer was 'yes, housekeeping'. whaaaat?! ]

for the next couple of minutes connie explained how things worked. it was an hourly rate + tips [ all members of staff split the tips ], three home cooked meals were provided daily & we could cozy up in a cabin on site. she also said that we could give it a go for a week & see how we like it & go from there. well, THAT was definitely worth considering. so we did.

we headed to botanial beach, chatting excitedly the whole way. it only took about ten minutes for us to decide that yes, we were interested. in fact, we were VERY interested. if we worked for a few weeks we could stay on the road longer. if we worked for a few weeks we could get to know this teeny tiny town on a personal level. if we worked for a few weeks we could learn new skills [ turns out you CAN teach an old dog new tricks ].

we spent a few hours roaming botanical beach at low tide, investigating the tide pools, climbing onto rocks, taking in the sights. & then we returned to trailhead to accept the job offers.

luke started that evening at 4 o'clock & i started the next morning at 9 o'clock. & we've been working ever since.

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family time. just the highlights.

we spent our first week in canada visiting luke's brother in delta & my brother in victoria. needless to say, it was wonderful to be in the company of family.

between the two visits we bbq'd, relaxed, caught up on each other's lives, visited the crystal clear sooke pot holes, beach hopped & submitted my passport renewal documentation.

when it was time to leave, it was difficult, but everyone had to get back to work & we had to get back to play.

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rocky mountain low.

we crossed the border into canada the saturday before last & were uber excited to be back on home turf. the moment we entered the country luke insisted we pull over so he could show some love to the british columbia sign. we were home & we were excited. & within four minutes i was calling my dad [ we don't have an american phone plan so have not made a phone call or sent a text since we left canada 8 may ].

we spent our first night in fernie. we had a coffee [ used the wifi ], visited the brewery [ as we do ] & slept in the fernie mountain resort FOR FREE. yep. FOR FREE. we don't always visit the tourist office when we arrive in a new town, but for some reason we did. & it was there that we received the good news that the resort was allowing campers to pitch up or pull up for no cost. don't hear that often. [ thank you lovely tourist office girl ]. the only downsides to sleeping in a mountain resort parking lot are my having to pee outside in bear country [ eek! ] & the price of the bag of ice we bought [ 1.40 in america, 3.60 in canada. that REALLY irked me ]. otherwise it was glorious. dark, quiet, no forced early morning wake up. glo-ri-ous.

but we did wake early [ obviously ]. like, before 6 o'clock early. & i had to pee. & it was too bright to just pee beside the van. & too early to use the resort bathroom. so we packed up & headed to starbucks [ i honestly think we should approach them for sponsorship at this point ] where we used the restroom, the wifi & the comfy chairs with the epic view of the mountains. this is also where we decided we loved british columbia & agreed to take at least a week to drive out to vancouver, where we would stay with luke's brother.

we hit the road around 7 o'clock anticipating views galore. we were pumped. we'd heard so much about this drive. but, alas, after an hour driving we started seeing the impact the forest fires were having. instead of mountains we saw smoke. instead of blue skies we saw white. our sight was literally limited to the trees along the highway. any further away & they became hazy. it shocked us. &, unfortunately it meant we may as well make our way to delta directly instead of dilly dallying like we'd intended. we attempted to stop & stay a number of times but the smoke was intolerable. our rocky mountain drive was a bust.

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forest fires & the busiest tourist season on record.

our plans to visit glacier national park were foiled twice over. firstly, there are hundreds of forest fires burning in both the usa & canada [ the smoke impedes the views of the park's famed mountains ] & second, this is glacier national park's busiest year on record. thirty percent busier than the busiest year they'd had prior to this [ which was last year ] which meant that the camp grounds were one hundred percent full. why was this a problem? well, it takes eight hours just to get through the park. & that doesn't include stops at viewpoints or time spent hiking. this is straight driving. without the ability to stop to spend the night part way it didn't make any sense for us to make the drive up to canada through the park [ which was our intention ]. so, instead, we made the decision to plug in the shortest route to fernie, bc & make our way back to canada [ to renew my passport ].

jellystone national park.

we woke the next morning [ last wednesday ] & drove straight up through to yellowstone national park [ grand teton & yellowstone are connected ]. we were looking forward to seeing old faithful erupt [ it happens every 126 minutes ], we were hoping to witness a bison traffic jam [ we've seen so many photos on insta ] & we were hoping to spot a grizzly [ we know, not likely, but hey, we can dream ].

well, we did manage to see old faithful erupt. in fact, we arrived at the site three minutes before the eruption [ what timing! ], after twenty minutes driving around the parking lot [ trying not to get sucked into a frustration fuelled argument ] to find a spot. & when we finally walked up to the site there were, i don't know, five hundred people, some sitting on bleachers, waiting for the big moment. & then the big moment came. & we looked at each other. was this it?! was this the eruption we'd been dreaming of?! & it was. & we couldn't believe it. i'm not sure what we'd expected exactly, but it wasn't that. it wasn't standing in a crowd of hundreds to see steam & water sputter out of a hole in the ground. don't get me wrong, the science behind this geyser is pretty incredible. & the hot springs, cool af, but, man did we feel deflated afterward.

ok, so, next on the list, witness a bison traffic jam.

we did a little research & found there was a specific area in the park that the bison congregate. so we headed there. & we found ourselves in a line of cars that stretched out of sight. at first we thought it was just traffic [ ? ]. then we thought it might be an accident [ ? ] & then, as we reached a bend in the road we saw it. yes. it was a bison traffic jam & it had been holding us hostage in our vehicle for an hour. by the time we got there [ sweaty, legs cramping, hungry. no, not really, but it sounds more dramatic ], we were still holding on to our excitement & enthusiasm [ surprisingly! ]. we marvelled over the sheer size & number of bison trying to cross the road. & we marvelled over one in particular that was just four feet from the side of the road. we could see it in detail & it was... interesting. & we felt lucky to be able to see such detail [ the photo doesn't do this amazing animal any justice ].

we turned around [ we were not interested in getting through the crowd of bison, turning around & waiting in traffic for another hour ] & made our way to where we were most likely to see a grizzly. of course we didn't see one [ we didn't really expect to ] but the scenery itself was worth the drive.

on the way out of the park we made one last stop of mammoth hot springs. again, it was crowded [ though not as crowded as the other sites as it was about 4 o'clock by this point ] so we walked up, admired it & made our way back to the van.

while yellowstone is a beautiful park & the features it preserves are fasinating, there were just so many people that we didn't find the experience enjoyable. so, instead of finding a campsite [ which i'm sure we wouldn't have been able to do anyway ], we made our way out of the park. it felt more like a theme park than a national park. everyone was driving up to a feature, parking [ the parking was full at virtually every feature so cars lined the roads surrounding them for miles, causing traffic ], walking the boardwalk, taking photos, hopping back into their cars. there was no hiking out to the sites, you simply arrived there, with everyone else. at the same time. & that just didn't appeal to us.

so, we pressed on. we made our way a little closer to canada. we made our way to glacier national park.

teton country.

we arrived in jackson, wyoming three days ago, after what felt like a million hour long drive. in reality, it took six & a half hours. sure, that's not THAT long a drive but the first four hours of it nearly bored me to tears. it was field after field with a town or two peppered in. then there were factories & farms & closed down gas stations. until finally we started to see mountains in the distance. that piqued our interest. then the mountains were on top of us. we were driving through them, around them, a roaring river snaking alongside us for company. & next thing we knew we were pulling into jackson.

upon arrival we made our way to a local brewery. we deserved a cold one after that drive. & we hadn't had or heard of any wyoming beer, so, we had to check it out, you know? & we're glad we did because the bartender pointed us to a campground just twenty minutes from the brewery.

we weren't sure we'd be able to find a spot in the campground because it was getting close to 8 o'clock but we decided to give it a shot, agreeing that we'd find a stealth parking spot in town if we weren't successful [ peeing on the side of the road isn't ideal BUT if i have to, i have to ].

as we pulled onto the main road to the campground our breath was taken from us. the snow capped mountains, the big sky. & there was a bison grazing in the field. our first bison.

we stopped at the site check in &, as we did, realized that we were too late. check in was closed & the only way to pay for a site was with cash. & we didn't have cash. but then a ranger approached. i explained our situation & he said that we could take a site & pay by credit card on the way out! [ thank you mr. ranger, sir ], so that's what we did.

we'd camped a couple of nights over the trip so are old hands at pitching the tent - we had it up, had gathered dead wood for a campfire & had the coleman out within minutes. i chopped the veggies & set up the bed while luke cooked. we had black bean tacos [ not sure if i told you but we're eating mainly vegan after watching 'what the health' on netflix ], drank a crowler of beer we were gifted a few days ago & sat in front of the fire until we were so tired our eyes started to get heavy. we then crawled into the tent & watched a movie we'd downloaded from netflix. ah, 2017.

luke slept fairly well but i froze my butt off. jogging pants & a sweatshirt don't cut it up here at 6,237 feet.

that next morning we were off to explore grand teton national park. we hiked to a mountain lake which we waded out into [ we walked juuuust in front of a couple so we weren't alone with the bears. & when they were out of sight i sang 'the hills are aliiiiiive with the sound of muuuusiiiic'... & luke banged his stick on something ], did the highlight drive [ popping out of the car every five minutes or so because EVERYTHING was worth a look ], ate lunch alfresco [ a sandwich standing next to the van ], & we found ourselves a campsite [ the last campsite in the park. it was late afternoon by the time we found it & it was one of only three sites left in the campground. we were so relieved - our other option was to drive back down through the park to Jackson & hope there was room in the campground we'd stayed in the night before ].

this campsite had a fire ring, fresh water, SHOWERS [ we hadn't showered in three days by this point ], a bear box [ which meant we could store our food there & sleep in the van ], a couple of torontonians [ i know, it's a pro & a con, really ] & we were given a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie when we arrived.

we cooked burgers for dinner, sat by the fire, sipped cocktails [ bourbon, gingerbeer & lime ], made friends with the torontonians [ he showed up again later that evening - with stolen wood - once she had gone to bed ], watched part of a documentary [ chasing coral ] & were asleep by midnight.

follow our journey at www.instagram.com/openheartsopenroad

the highlights.

since we left santa fe, we've visited bandalier national monument, spent two days exploring mesa verde national park, stayed two nights in telluride, popped into [ & very quickly out of ] garden of the gods, wandered through red rock canyon, spent the afternoon at rocky mountain national park & we're now in larimer, in a starbucks, drinking coffee, catching up & planning our next stop.

mesa verde national park, telluride, red rock canyon & rocky mountain national park were, by far, the highlights of the past week.

mesa verde is famed for its cliff dwellings & a destination that had been high on my must-see list. & let me tell you, it did not disappoint. we spent two solid days taking it all in. we loved it so much from the moment we arrived that we opted to pay to stay in the park campground rather than drive back out to a free spot. we did the tourist thing by driving the loop & taking the cliff dwelling tours [ that's the only option if you want to see them ] & actually really enjoyed ourselves.

telluride is one of the most beautiful places we've ever been. it is surrounded by mountains. like, surrounded. there are waterfalls in the distance. the main street has the most incredible views. there is a river running through it. we took the ski lift up the mountain. we hiked at elevation [ our poor lungs! ]. we slept at the side of the road, waking to stunning views.

visiting red rock canyon was pure luck. we had intended to visit garden of the gods but were told by the campground host in woodland park that it was overrun with tourists & not nearly as beautiful as red rock canyon. well, he was right. we spent about fifteen minutes in g.o.t.g. before hightailing it out of there, straight to red rock canyon where we wandered through, climbed on & were awed by the red canyon walls. it was quiet & there was plenty of space.

rocky mountain national park. wow. we had lunch, hiked & drove the trail ridge road. the views from the drive were mind blowing. snow. tundra. huge elevation. we loved it.

ok, that brings me back to right now.

you'll note that we're only spending a day or two at most places. well, you may [ or may not ] remember that we have to be back in canada by 9 august to renew my passport. unfortunately, that means we are not able to spend nearly as much time in each park or town as we'd like BUT we're making the most of it & not letting that get us down. we've got ten days left & we're going to enjoy them.

follow our journey at www.instagram.com/openheartsopenroad

grief.

i haven't written in a while because i haven't known what to say. though i've been humbled & awed by the extent of the earth's beauty, i continually struggle with the fact that my mom is no longer here to share it with. & i've started to feel like a fraud writing as if i'm not drowning in sadness. as if i don't wake in the middle of the night, overwhelmed, chest tight from crying as i slept. as if i don't stare out the window, tears streaming down my face as we drive. because i am. & i do.

i don't write about my grief because it hurts too much. & don't talk much about my grief because when i say it out loud i have to acknowledge it. & i am not strong enough to carry the full weight of it.

so, until i am, i hope you'll understand that, for now, i must continue to tell our story as i have been. i will share the highs & lows of our adventure. i will post photos of smiling faces & stunning views. & i will continue to hold my grief close to my chest because until i'm ready to share my grief - MY grief - this is all i'm able to share.

land of entrapment.

we have truly, madly, deeply fallen for new mexico. it is one of the most beautiful places we have ever seen. the landscape is not at all comparable to anywhere we've been. if i didn't have to be out of the country in twenty one days we'd stay a month.

we spent our first full day in albuquerque. we trail ran in rio grande state park & drove an hour up to sandia peak for views of the city. on a clear day you can see as far as colorado. to say it was awe inspiring would be an understatement. at 10,678 feet it is by far the the highest either of us have been.

in the evening we visited a few local breweries. marble, tractor & dialogue. we were very impressed with the beer selection at each & even more impressed with the enthusiasm, generosity & kindness the bartenders showed us. instead of treating us like patrons they treated us like new friends.

as i mentioned in my last post, we met a couple of kindred spirits on tuesday night. luke sparked a conversation with sarah & nathan by making a joke that sarah was almost canadian [ she is from alaska ]. & that's all it took. by the time i came back from the food truck they were in full blown conversation. it turned out we had a lot in common, & after an hour they were extending an invitation to spend a night at the casita on their property. they didn't strike us as axe murders so we took them up on it. we followed them home, stayed up until the wee hours looking over maps, regaling each other with travel tales, discussing routes we could take & sharing stories about ourselves & our families [ & drinking japanese whiskey ]. the next morning we [ groggily ] said goodbye & promised to stay in touch. & i know we will. these two are keepers. in fact, we hope to convince them to join us for part of the second leg of our journey.

wednesday morning we made our way out of town. it was difficult to leave albuquerque, but, at the same time, we were excited to be heading to santa fe. it was only a fifty mile drive & it was along the historic turquoise trail. we knew it would be beautiful & we wanted to take our time to do it.

well, the one hour trip took all night. after a few hours we'd only made it as far as madrid [ about 30 miles. because we stopped a half dozen times to take photos ] & decided then & there that we would boondock in the baseball diamond parking lot [ just, just outside of town & with bathrooms ] instead of making our way to santa fe, just to sleep in a walmart parking lot. so, we spent a bit of time exploring the area around madrid [ absolutely breathtaking ] then settled into a spot on a patio overlooking the main road so we could catch up on work [ aka, download documentaries from netflix, charge our phones & write the blog ] & watch the comings & goings of the townies & the tourists. it was relaxing & lovely. by 9 o'clock we were pulling into the parking lot, settling in & watching netflix. by 10 0'clock it was pitch black. & i mean PITCH BLACK. there are no lights in the area except the light coming from the bathroom. we were the only people for a mile. there are rattlesnakes & bunnies & who-knows-what, & we thought of all of this just as we were trying to fall asleep. needless to say neither of us slept. i had ten nightmares, all visions of the horrible things that could happen to us out there.

when we woke though, things were different. though it was 6 o'clock & neither of us had slept, we weren't tired. the view from our van was stunning. the temperature was cool [ i'd even pulled out the blanket in the middle of the night. if i was able to sleep it would have been so cozy ] & we only had a forty minute drive ahead of us. yesterday started better than i'd expected.

we arrived at starbucks on the outskirts of santa fe just after 7 o'clock. we did our normal morning routine - check emails, read the news [ luke does. i just find it depressing ], charge our phones, write the blog, check insta, facebook, etc. ], go to walmart for breakfast [ greek yogurt & granola for me, potato salad for luke ] & went to the gym.

once energized & showered we made our way into santa fe proper. though it was beautiful; it has an historic downtown with a square & a church, which we loved, it felt congested & touristy compared to albuquerque. it had shi-shi restaurants & tourist-trap like shops. we wandered for a while, i admired some hand made bracelets [ i regret not buying one. the woman selling them was lovely & all jewellery is made from scratch. the government requires the artist make everything, including the beads - i may have to convince luke it's worth a quick stop in town on the way out of here today ] then climbed up to cross of the martyrs for views of the city. by then our parking meter was expiring so we made our way back to the car & back to walmart to grab lunch [ pre made salad - $3.50 each ]. after lunch we made our way back to starbucks to finalize today's plans & drink iced tea. it was hot out & our lack of sleep was catching up to us.

but we still managed to visit the three breweries we had on our list - second street brewing [ it was just ok ], new mexico hard cider [ delicious - rhubarb, blueberry, sour cherry & cranberry just to name a few of their flavours ] & santa fe brewing company [this place kicked ass. it was out of the city on a huge property. kids & dogs were running around. it had cornhole ( luke beat me two of three games ). people were cheering other people on. it was a great atmosphere.

by the time we finished the brewery tour it was time to head home [ the walmart parking lot ]. it was 8 o'clock. time for dinner, time for a netflix documentary, time to relax. by the time we finished eating [ home made salad with black beans, peppers, kale, spinach, tomatillo guacamole & salsa ] we were exhausted. we couldn't keep our eyes open long enough to watch the film. we were fast asleep by 9:30.

now it's friday morning, 9:38. i'm writing & posting this in REAL TIME. we're at starbucks [ we had greek yogurt & granola for breakfast ], we're screenshotting the directions to today's destination [ will fill you in later ], charging our phones, sipping our iced coffees & i'm writing this blog post. in a minute i'll go into the bathroom with my backpack full of dishes & i'll wash them. then we'll hit the road. we're heading out of the city & into the desert & we can't wait [ ok, i can't wait. luke's a little nervous about rattlesnakes & black bears ].

talk soon.

follow our journey at www.instagram.com/openheartsopenroad

something spiritual.

there's something spiritual about this part of the country. you can sense it as soon as you cross the border. there's room to breathe here. the mountains provide perspective. the expansiveness of the sky a reminder that life can be as tremendous as you want to make it.

though the last ten weeks have been wonderful, i believe this is where our journey begins. this is where the soft moments start. this is where the world will teach us something. this is where we could find what we are looking for. new mexico, colorado, wyoming, montana, utah, idaho, arizona. ideal for contemplation, for soul searching, for learning to live in the moment.

unfortunately, two things have the potential to derail the trip. one, we have to make our way back to canada by 9 august to renew my passport, which could keep us in canada for weeks. & two, we will more than likely be out of funds by the time i receive my passport.

though we've been conscious about our spending, we decided fairly early on that we weren't willing to miss an opportunity simply because it cost money. we've met so many wonderful people over a beer [ just last night we met a couple of kindred spirits at marble brewing in albequerque. they very kindly - & very generously - invited us to spend the night at their home. we shared stories, beers, japanese whiskey & our hearts. it was the best $30USD we've ever spent ]. & we've spent hundreds on a national park pass & state park entry fees. & we wouldn't take any of it back.

needless to say, we've got a plan. once we've crossed the border we hope to find work. we'll scrub toilets. we'll ask customers if they want fries with that. we'll do whatever we have to do to continue. we'll look into a loan. we'll borrow money. we'll make it happen. we've got open hearts & there's always an open road.

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on the road again.

since we left west palm beach on 9th july we've gone down to key west & back up again, made a two night pit stop in tallahassee to visit friends, drove through georgia & alabama to mississippi to see the birthplace of elvis. we then spent the night in oxford [ ole miss' football stadium ] & from there drove through clarksdale to see crossroads, birthplace of the blues. we then flew through arkansas to oklahoma where we spent the night in oklahoma city. phew. that's a lot of driving. just ask luke.

the keys were stunning. all beaches & bridges & large, aggressive lizards. it's also where we cashed in our KOA camping gift certificate [ mega shoutout to steve & stacy- you two are legends ] & pitched our tent for the first time. it's also the first place we've pitched a tent together, full stop. & we didn't even argue [ much ]. the most difficult part of pitching the tent was actually my being chased onto a picnic table by a four foot iguana. it legit chased me. it legit jumped onto the picnic table after i did. & i legit jumped off, ran to the van, hopped in & locked the fucking door. & i didn't come out until the iguana finally made its way back to the mangrove trees where he hid waiting to scare the complete living shit out of me again. [ i know he did. i speak iguana ]

other stories of note from the keys are as follows:
1: we swam in the ocean on the side of the highway. it was incredible. & warm [ about 85 degrees ]. & like, awesome, cause we were swimming. at. the. side. of. a. highway. [ gulf side ]
2: we walked out half a mile on anne's beach where [ bloodline spoiler alert! ] mr. rayburn died [ atlantic side ]
3: key west was fun. & the tip of the tip of the southern states. it was beautiful & we had a good time until the guy working at the strip joint said to us 'come on in. couples that play together, stay together'. that was gross.
4: mosquitos still love luke. his bites blew up & he looked like he had chicken pox. again.
5: our tent has a skylight so we went to bed bathed in moonlight. it was magnificent. [ & the tent was only like, $50 at canadian tire. we are VERY happy with our purchase ]
6. we rented a motel room for the second night. $60USD for a double bed in a room that smelled like old cigarette smoke. BUT it was a block away from a very cool waterfront bar/restaurant that had a great band that luke ended up getting up on stage with, so that kind of helped to cancel out the smell of the room.

stories from tallahassee are as follows:
1. we stayed with friends i met while walking the camino in 2014. they very kindly put us up, stayed up late chatting & showed us around town. we swam in a natural spring, saw gators & manatees [ like, just outside the swimming zone ] & slept much better than we had in a while.
2. we visited two breweries on our list. both were great [ good beer & uber friendly beer tenders ]. one even gifted us a one-off bottle of beer [ being a bartender at a brewery has its perks . it's like i'm a member of a club. i love it ].
3. we enjoyed the penis & balls building [ we didn't give it the name ]. legendary.

stories from the road are as follows:
1. luke crossed off 3 bucket list items - elvis' birthplace, ole miss football stadium & crossroads.
2. we learned that arakansas is all gas stations, farms & nothing [ no offense arkansas, we were just going through & put in zero effort - it wasn't you, it was us ].

stories from oklahoma city:
1. we saw the texas two step at a country bar.

stories from amarillo:
1. the drive in was terrifying. we thought we saw tornados forming. it was raining so fierce people were pulling off the highway which eventually started to flood. not fun.
2. google big texan steak ranch. right now. it's epic.
3. we found ourselves at a dive bar playing aggressive hip hop, full of locals & one random golfer.
4. the bartender at said dive bar pointed us to the second largest canyon in america.
5. we visited the second largest canyon in america, palo duro canyon state park. we hiked from rim to floor [ 1.5 miles ] & back up again. the scenery was like nothing we'd ever seen.

stories from the road to new mexico [ which is where we are now! i've finally caught up! ]:
1. we stopped at cadillac ranch in texas. it is a public statue art installation & statue created in 1974. the ground surrounding it is littered with used cans of spray paint which people pick through in hopes of finding one with paint left in it. it was actually very cool. we brought some with us, left our mark, & tossed the can into the mix.

respite from the heat & some friendly faces.

west palm beach florida wasn't originally on our radar but when friends from ottawa offered us an air conditioned room & their company we took them up on it. for three reasons.

firstly, florida is hot. like, stifling hot. & the van has no a/c, which means we hadn't slept in for-ever. secondly, florida is ass backwards. you can carry a concealed weapon but you can't sleep in your car. & thirdly, seeing a couple of familiar faces after a few weeks on the road sounded wonderful.

so we went & we spent a total of seven days [ five before ireland, two after ] relaxing with the four of them [ they have two young children ]. we went to breweries & to the beach. we had sit down dinners. we drank cold beer & swam in their [ bath water warm ] pool. we slept in. we did twice daily perimeter checks for snakes & alligators. needless to say, it was a huge departure from what we'd been getting used to.

we had a wonderful time [ hard not to with friends like them ] but by the time we were back in the van it had been over three weeks & we were more than ready to get back on the road.

* we'd like to say a big thank you to jayna & jay. not only did they welcome us into their home for an extended period of time, but they cared for van while we were out of the country, thank you, thank you, thank you. *

that time we were busted by the police.

picture this.

we're in st. augustine, florida & we find the perfect beach parking lot. no 'no parking' signs, clean bathrooms, central location.

we park, take a short walk for mexican food [ it was incredible ], hop back into the van & make our way to a brewery.

we drive back, park again, take a short walk to a dive bar [ which has a special on - every time you order a drink, the bartender flips a coin. if your side comes up, your drink is free ], enjoy the company of some locals & head back to van for a good night sleep.

& then it happens. the sound that every van dweller dreads. 'rap, rap, rap' on the window, followed by a 'st. augustine police. open up.' [ or something similar to that ].

we are startled & sleepy & scrambling to make sure we are dressed appropriately but somehow i manage a calm 'yes officer'. we slide the side door open & are greeted by two officers, holding two flashlights, both pointed directly at us. 

the police have no idea what to expect when we open the door, so are ready for anything, but as soon as they see us & realize we were fast asleep just seconds prior, the male officer relaxes, asks us what we are doing, explains that due to a meth problem in the county it is illegal to sleep in your car, asks for our id & makes his way to the cruiser to look us up. the female officer, however, continues to stand guard, flashlight still pointed directly in our faces, unrelaxed af.

ten minutes later, just as we are accepting our fate [ that we'll be ticketed & sent packing ], the male officer returns to the car with our id & says 'clearly all you two are doing is sleeping so i'm not going to write you a ticket. how long do you plan to stay in st. augustine?'. we reply, 'thank you officer, until tomorrow morning'. 'what time will you leave?', he asks. 'by 7 o'clock', we say.

& then he says something completely unexpected. he says, 'ok, it's late. stay here & get a few more hours of sleep but i don't want to see you here tomorrow.' then he shakes luke's hand, bids us good night & they get back into their vehicle.

we went back to sleep & were out of there by 9 o'clock.

to... well shit, we're in the florida keys.

yep, we know. it's been weeks since we posted. heck, it may even have been a month. & we promised there'd be a new post by last friday. & there wasn't. we're sorry. please don't hate us, & please don't take it personally. it's us, not you.

though it may not be a very good one, i do have a reason for not posting. up to now our laptop has had to be plugged in when in use [ it was free & the battery has never worked ] so we have to be somewhere with electricty for me to write. & when you live in a van the only access to electricity is either a coffee shop or a pub. while writing at a coffee shop is cool - we can do it when we have our morning iced coffee [ the most budget friendly coffee beverage on the starbucks menu ], writing at a pub is anti-social, & i don't like to be anti-social, so i don't do it. so there you go.

ok, so since i last wrote we've driven from charleston, south carolina, to west palm beach, florida, flown out to ireland, flown back to west palm beach & now we're in the keys. [ phew. that's a lot of travelling ].

in my last post i was telling you that while in charleston we stumbled upon folly beach, a seaside surf town just a short drive from the city. well, i'll tell you now that within fifteen minutes of arriving we fell so in love with it's vibe we decided to spend a few days living the beach life. this spot was so laid back that, like, ninety six percent of it's establishments didn't require we wear either a shirt or shoes for service. once stripped down to the minimum amount of clothing we could get away with there was no way we were going back to the city where we'd have to cover up & dress 'appropriately.' [ for our age, for our [ my ] weight, for our surroundings. no way ]

i'll also tell you that it was in folly beach that we stealth parked for the first time. like, truly stealth parked [ we'd always parked at the beach or in a mall parking lot, never on a city street ]. one of three nights we stayed in the area we slept in the van, directly in front of a woman's house. i mean, we were just a step away from her front door for twenty four hours, changing from street clothes to swimsuits to pj's [ shout out to the homeowner. she said hello to us the afternoon we arrived & good morning to us as we climbed out of the van at nine o'clock the next day. she wasn't at all bothered or surprised by our being there ]. the spot was perfect - a block away from a twenty four hour supermarket [ with a bathroom for those middle-of-the-night pees ] & two blocks from the beach. we would have stayed all three nights but the bugs were something awful. & they loved luke. so we spent the other two nights in a walmart parking lot [ luke's favourite. for real. he's become a parking lot connoisseur. whenever we drive by or into a parking lot that has palm trees or a view or shady spots he'll say 'now that's a beautiful parking lot'. i find it highly entertaining ].

the first two days were spent at the beach swimming, napping & beach combing [ you know, the usual stuff ], but our third & last day in town was spent at [ i never, ever thought i'd ever be lucky enough to type these words ] a crawfish festival. yep. a crawfish festival. we acquired two free passes from a band that invited luke on stage to play harmonica the previous night & excitedly cashed them in the following day for an afternoon of crawfish eating, alligator holding & cold draft beer. swoon.

our next destination was savannah, ga, & though it was only a six hour drive we opted to make an overight stop in the quaint town [ village? ] of beaufort to break it up. this stop was also scheduled to enable us to make a trip to palmetto bluff [ recommended by friends ]. it was stunning. while there we saw dolphins [ ! ], used the bathroom of one of the most beautiful churches we've seen [ it was simple & bright & had a stunning view of the water ] & had a a glimpse into how the other half live [ estates, yachts, fancy restaurants, oh my ].

like charleston, we found savannah to be a city for those that have money to burn [ or at least a holiday budget instead of a vanlife budget ]. & while we got a kick out of the open container law [ we took a walk with a couple cans of beer just because we could ] & thoroughly enjoyed walking down bull street [ picture park after park with fountains, spanish moss & benches for people watching ], the main strip, river street, along the waterfront, was, well, a shit show. a tourist trap. it reminded us of new orleans, lined with bars full of rowdy tourists, tacky souveniers shop & restaurants that advertise with photos of their food [ never a good sign ].

we spent one sleepless night [ it was, like, 40c & humid ], woke the next morning, walked the city for a couple of hours, decided it was time to move on, scanned google maps, selected our next destination, packed up & headed out of town.

the destination we chose that morning was fernandina beach, right at the tippy top of the A1A & we made it there with a few sunlight hours left to enjoy the scenery.

fernandina beach was a small seaside town, similar to the outer banks in that it ran along a main road, with holiday homes, beach access points & local establishments on either side. upon arrival we stopped at one particular beach access point that had a public restroom, boardwalks running through a protected tortoise nesting ground & a covered area with picnic tables perfect for a couple of van dwellers like ourselves to make & eat dinner al fresco.

after dinner we checked out the local watering holes. the first was a dive bar with buckets of beer so inexpensive it was like they were giving it away & homemade chili two [ very inebriated ] local woman were actually giving away. from there we made our way to the tiki bar on the beach. we couldn't resist - it had swings in place of every second stool at the bar [ ! ] & a parking lot we could spend the night in [ ! ].

as we go to bed well before the bars close we didn't fall asleep quickly, but the view from van the following morning was well worth the lack of sleep. lucky for me i woke at 5 o'clock to a stunning sunrise, enjoyed that for a time, & was able to walk a mile to the local starbucks for iced coffee [ lucky for luke as well because that kept me occupied, meaning i didn't wake him ]. when i arrived back with the coffee, luke was stirring so we tidied up, had a little breakfast, did a workout on the beach, hopped in van & headed toward west palm beach.

to be continued....

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from port city...

we'd been looking forward to charleston since we started planning this trip over a year ago. in fact, we'd been wanting to visit charleston for years but couldn't bring ourselves to cough up the [ outrageous ] plane fare. so this was our chance. & when we finally arrived it was raining sideways. & it was flooding. & it was humid. but, have no fear, we found a parking spot by the city market & set out on foot with our umbrellas & a positive attitude.

as we expected, the historic district was very pretty. as we should have expected, the historic district was very posh. my short-shorts & luke's jean cut offs weren't exactly the norm. the price for a drink or a meal was out of our league. & with nowhere but either a truly shitty pub with cheap beer [ where we ended up having lunch - what a waste of money ], an overpriced restaurant, or the van to hang out in while the rain lashed [ we were so envious of the tourists that were able to return to clean, dry hotel rooms with cable television ], after a few hours admiring the city on foot we were about finished with it. but not all was lost.

what did we do with the rest of the afternoon/evening? we went to revelry brewery. & what did we find there? we found exactly what we'd hoped for; great beer, locals, friendly bartenders, a casual atmosphere & shelter from the storm. oh, & our appetites. after a few beer we hopped in the van & headed toward our chosen overnight parking spot.

what did we stumble upon while on the way to 'home' to buy food & eat in the van? lewis barbecue. LEWIS f'ing BARBECUE. luke's favourite texas bbq-er [ ? ] had relocated his austin based bbq joint to charleston & luke had completely forgotten about it.

needless to say, we swung into the parking lot on two wheels, hopped from the van & immediately got stuck in. we had the ribs, the brisket [ the texans have mastered brisket ], the sausages. we had pickled onions & pickles & white bread. & it was delicious [ but, as always, i ate too much. will i never, ever learn? ever? ]. then, much to our surprise, the manager treated us to a one-on-one tour of the smoke room [ luke was bursting with excitement ]. the two of them talked meat & smoke & bbq while i took photos. & then, to top it all off, he gave us beer coozies. on the house. [ i was pumped ].

not surprisingly, the next day we woke to more rain. sigh. but, hey, we were going to visit the angel oak [ we'd been told it was a must-see ] & a little rain wasn't going to get us down. in fact, a little rain made it all the more haunting [ & less busy, i would imagine ]. from there we made our way back to the historic district, found a parking spot at the waterfront [ lucky ] & waited out the rain, in the van, side door open, breeze blowing in. once the rain subsided we ventured out along the waterfront, zig zagged through the quaint streets in the battery district, &, after an hour or so we admitted to each other that the city wasn't for us so we made our way to folly beach.

oh folly beach. how we loved you...

beachy keen.

we're in folly beach, a coastal town with a true surfer vibe located just twenty minutes from downtown charleston. i'm sitting at a picnic table, in the shade, in my bikini, typing away while luke naps in the van, doors open, not a care in the world. [ a curious woman just spent about five minutes studying our home on wheels, completely oblivious to me. that was hilarious ].

ok, let's get you all caught up. after our stay at amber's cottage on the hill we drove to asheville, south carolina, craft beer mecca & one of the most beautiful cities we've seen. encompassed by the blue mountains & inhabited by a crazy mishmash of people, there was no lack of entertainment or awe inspiring view.

as you can imagine, we spent the first day visiting breweries. there are so many, a number of which we'd never even heard of, so we just winged it. & we weren't disappointed. we spent the second day driving the blue mountain parkway, taking in the stunning tree topped mountains that went as far as the eye could see. we ate sandwiches & hiked & we capped the day off with a visit to new belgium brewing [ this brewery was a must visit for us ]. though there were a bazillion more breweries we could visit, when we woke the next morning we agreed there was no way our budget could handle more craft beer. so we took to the road!

& the road took us to florence, south carolina. a town we'd never heard of & no idea what to expect from. the only reason we stopped here was to break up the drive [ we'd agreed at the beginning that we'd never drive more than four hours or so ] & what we got was an unexpected evening in a local bar on the side of a highway where we drank four dollar beers for three dollars [ thank you brandy! ] & had laugh after laugh with the locals. we'd intended to stay for an hour but ended up having such craic we couldn't tear ourselves away until we absolutely had to.

next morning we were off to myrtle beach. now, we knew it would be a shit show, & we fully expected to dislike it as much as we did the other shit show style american beach towns we'd fled, but because we ended up caving & renting a motel room [ we'd not slept in what felt like forever due to the oppressive heat & my cough, which i'd had for about a week by this point. it had been keeping us both up every. single. night ], it felt like a vacation. &, though it may sound crazy, we needed a vacation. living in a van is an adventure but it's often not very relaxing, to be honest. if we're in a city, there's metered parking, for example. & paying a few dollars an hour nap just doesn't make sense, you know? on top of that, the van gets up to about five hundred degrees by midday. not exactly a comfortable hanging-out-in-the-van reading & chilling out temperature. but i digress.

we spent two glorious days & nights in shit show myrtle beach, enjoying the air conditioning, the pool & the beach. we worked out, chilled out & hung out. on top of all that glorious-ness, we experienced such generosity from strangers we couldn't believe our luck.

we stayed up until 2 o'clock in the morning the first night because an enthusiastic group of women in town for a softball tournament were sitting at a table out front of the motel listening to old school r&b & drinking budweiser. & they very kindly allowed us to join them. we sang along to the music, interacted with everyone walking by & had a million laughs.

next morning there was a knock on our door. if you can believe it, it was one of the women from the previous night. & she had bags of groceries for luke & i. instead of taking their leftover food with them, they generously gave it to us, knowing we were on the road. the bags were full of bottled water, crackers, cheese, turkey bacon, sandwich meat, pickles. we couldn't believe it. & just when we didn't think things could get better, another one of the women knocked on the door & handed us twelve budweiser. she & luke had bonded of a shared love for the beer so she passed it to me & said 'beer for my bud'. what a start to the day, right? & it just got better from there.

once we were up & mobile we did a work out & hit the beach. the waves were huge & kept us out there for what seemed like hours. on our way back in, a young man we recognized from our motel approached us - two boogie boards in hand - & offered them to us. said he couldn't take them home on the plane & wanted us to have them. i mean, what a day. i swear, we ended up with the equivalent of one night's stay in booty.

the next morning we reluctantly packed everything back into the van & left the comfort of our motel room. we knew we couldn't stay any longer, as much as we'd have loved to. we had a date with charleston.

the cottage on the hill.

chimney rock, south carolina. home of, well, chimney rock [ $15 PER PERSON to climb five hundred stairs for a view that we heard wasn't all that fantastic, frankly. so we didn't do it ] & temporary home of amber, the dear, dear, dear friend i mentioned in my last post.

i reached out to amber a few months ago [ we've been pen pals since the camino ] to let her know that luke & i were headed across her beautiful country & would be finishing our journey in british columbia, not far from tacoma, washington where she is from. but, lucky for us, it turned out she had moved to north carolina which meant we wouldn't have to wait until the end of the journey to see her. [ the world works in mysterious ways ].

we arrived in the chimney rock, lake lure area & were immediately taken with its beauty. the lake itself was lovely [ but cost $8 PER PERSON to spend the day at, & apparently the water isn't all that clean. so we didn't do it ] & the surrounding area offered lush forests, a stunning river, waterfalls &, you guessed it, a brewery - our first stop when we arrived in town & couldn't find amber's cottage. [ needed wifi. the brewery had wifi. no fee to enter the brewery. went to the brewery ].

after a chat to the brewer, the bartender & the owner about all things beer, a sticker exchange & some tasters we made our way to the agreed upon meeting spot; a stone wall on the side of the highway upon which she would be perched. & when we arrived we found her, as promised, perched on the wall, a huge smile spread across her face. i swear, i jumped from the car before luke even came to a complete stop, i wanted so badly to hug her [ those of you that know me, even just a little, know that i am a hugger, born & bred. no one can stop me & very few hug as well as i do. i've been honing this talent for years ].

a half dozen hugs & an introduction later, we three made our way up the hill to the cottage where luke & i would spend a few days relaxing thanks to amber's generous offer to have us stay with her. [ the cottage, it was beautiful. it had a front veranda with rocking chairs, tomato plants & a view of the mountain side. it also had air conditioning, a warm shower & amber ].

the two days luke & i spent with amber were glorious. we rocked on the veranda, drank wine, ran the hills, cleaned our clothes, cooked meals together, aired out the van, found ourselves happily lost in the forest, played in a waterfall & talked & talked & talked. we caught up, learned things about each other & from each other & we confirmed that this bond we formed two years ago was still very much there [ & now includes luke ].

when it came time for us to move on to asheville i found myself wishing we could stay longer. amber made us feel so welcome & made me feel so loved. i hope one day i'll have the chance to return the favour.

back on mainland u-s-of-a.

hello from a motel room in myrtle beach [ yes, you read that right. hello from a motel room in myrtle beach. it is hot af so we had to either upgrade to something with air conditioning or risk melting &/or divorce ]. as i write this luke is snoring in the 'eating' bed [ there are two beds so we deemed one the 'eating' bed & the other the 'sleeping' bed. can't risk getting crumbs in the 'sleeping' bed if we find ourselves snacking while watching television - television! ] & it is lashing rain on the other side of the door. but i don't mind either one bit because we've had so much sun the last week or so i can't be mad about a couple of temperature reducing thunderstorms &, hey, i'm starting to realize that naps aren't all bad [ i never, ever thought i'd say that. ever ].

ok, so, back to the ferry ride to the mainland. if you read my previous post, you'll remember that we woke feeling pretty darn groggy that morning in ocracoke [ it was worth it for all the craic we had ]. what i didn't mention is that luke was in worse shape than me so i took the wheel for this leg of the journey [ i hadn't driven even a city block up to this point so was a little worried but, at the same time, i was happy to be of assistance ].

the ferry to cedar island was at 4 o'clock & it lasted two & a half hours. now, normally that would feel like FOREVER but we have a converted van [ ! ] so we were able to nap [ luke ], read [ me ] & even get in a workout [ me ]. & we managed it all while everyone else was either sitting in their vehicle or inside the ferry [ poor suckers ].

when we arrived at cedar island [ not actually an island ] we were pleasantly surprised by the landscape. we had no idea what to expect. it began with marshland & bendy roads [ which i very poorly navigated. turns out i am not a natural born van driver ] & turned into farmland & straightaways. & it was beautiful [ a huge departure from the sand dunes & ocean views we'd gotten accustomed to, which made for an interesting drive ].

now, that day's goal was simply to get from ocracoke to either beaufort or morehead - whichever town we felt like stopping in [ aka, whichever town we could find a decent spot to park for the night ].  it was about covering ground, getting us closer to our TRUE destination, which was chimney rock, north carolina, home of my dear, dear, dear friend amber, whom i met while walking the camino de santiago two years ago & hadn't seen since. to say i was excited was an understatement. we only spent two weeks together, but those two weeks were intense. we slept, brushed our teeth, showered & shit [ same room, different stall ] & ate together every day. & all while walking four to eight hours a day, often together. she was my rock. she got me through the tough bits. she listened, was a shoulder to cry on, lifted me up when i was at my lowest. she was a true friend. a bosom buddy. a soul mate. she got me through everything until my dad arrived & i walked the last three weeks with him. i was going to get to see her again & i was going to get to introduce her to luke. needless to say, i couldn't get there fast enough, & all that was standing between me & a hug was one night in a shitty anytime fitness in parking lot in morehead city! [ yep, we ended up in morehead city, beaufort was beautiful, but posh, & didn't have a walmart or anytime fitness & we weren't sure we'd get away with stealth parking ].

island life.

the pace has slowed since i last wrote. we spent four or five days lazily making our way through the outer banks & back to the mainland, drove north west to chimney rock village to stay with a friend, & are now in asheville.

the outer banks was beautiful. the coastline was wild, with its dunes & winds & waves. we stayed in kill devil hills where the wright brothers successfully conducted the first free, controlled flight of a power driven airplane & where the beach goes on forever. we wandered over massive sand dunes at jockey's ridge state park, ran from the water to the top of the wright brothers national memorial & saw storms roll in. we watched hockey with locals at the bonzer shack, washed our dishes in the outdoor showers & saw both ends of a rainbow. there were beach access points with parking lots every two hundred & fifty meters which meant finding a quiet spot to pull into at night was simple. it also meant we could cook & eat all of our meals al fresco.

after a few days there we drove an hour south to hattaras island where we stayed the night in another beach parking lot, though this one was busy with locals coming & going until all hours. we went to the local bar/restaurant that evening & met two men on a father-son road trip. the father, john, was kind enough to invite us to stay with he & his wife in arizona should we choose to see the south rim of the grand canyon. so we just might.

from hattaras island we took a forty five minute ferry ride to ocracoke, a laid back island full of lively bars & restaurants, & a stunning beach. we spent our first day there on the beach cooking, drinking cans of beer & frolicking in the waves. mid afternoon we opened all the doors, including the back, climbed into our bed & took a nap in the fresh air, not caring that the other beach goers knew we were living here. it was a glorious day. one of my favourite.

post nap we wandered into town & happened upon a wine tasting. we intended to purchase wine by the glass but the woman, penny, insisted we try the wines that appeal to us [ for free ] instead. couldn't argue with that so we stayed a while. i chatted with penny, who was a new arrival to the island & a very interesting character while luke found himself at a picnic table of kooky middle aged americans.

from the wine tasting we moved to a harbourside spot where we sipped craft beer from plastic cups & watched the watermen clean their catch while pelicans & gulls swooped & dove, hoping to snag a morsel.

& then we headed back to the beach to make dinner & get ready for bed. there were no 'no overnight parking' postings in the lot so we decided this was where we'd sleep. & that's when we noticed vehicle after vehicle pull in, & group after group head toward the water with flashlights. we were intrigued so we put our clothes back on & followed them.

when we got to the beach all we could see were the shadows of small groups of people, headlamps dancing in the pitch black. so we stood there. & stood there. until one of the groups made their way toward us to exit the beach & explained that everyone was out there, on the beach, in the dark, looking at crabs. 'crabs?', we thought to ourselves & aimed our flashlight toward the sand. &, my gosh, we were surrounded. there were crabs everywhere. everywhere. they were scurrying every which way. it was exhilarating & terrifying. after a minute or two we completely freaked ourselves out & beat it toward the boardwalk & back to the van.

once we started settling in we observed a park ranger making the rounds, requesting all over-nighters find somewhere else to stay the night. it was obvious. sigh. luke wanted to just ignore the ranger [ not sure how he thought we'd get away with that ] but i hopped into the front seat & opened the door when he shone his flashlight through our van window. the park ranger was so apologetic i almost felt badly for him. he said the issue was that it was memorial day weekend. he suggested we park in a motel or restaurant parking lot where we could blend in for the night [ at least he had a suggestion! ]

so, we got dressed [ again ] & made our way back into town. we pulled into the first lot we came across & hopped out. we were wide awake by then & figured if we were going to stay in the lot, the least we could do was make a purchase at the establishment. so we did. & i'm so glad we did because i struck up a conversation with the gentleman next to me at the bar & it turned out he was the owner of the local campground. & after hearing our story he offered a camping spot to us for free [ for free! ]. so, after our beers he grabbed his golf cart & lead us to our [ free, free, free! ] camping spot.

now, i notice i haven't mentioned that although it was dark out, it was only 10 o'clock by the time we were following this golf cart [ yep, we go to bed early these days ]. so, after arriving in our spot we decided that we may as well take advantage of the fact that we could stay in town by wandering over to the fireman's ball that had started at 4 o'clock that afternoon & was still going strong.

the fireman's ball was entry by donation [ i had $4 ] & all alcohol was free [ talk about a van lifer's dream! ]. we drank cans of cold beer, listened to the band & giggled at our good luck.

once the band finished & the ball started to wind down we walked back to the campsite & upon entering said campsite we were greeted by a group of [ self described ] rednecks. they were hard to understand, one of them was a fourteen year old boy chewing [ ? ] chewing tobacco. another was his girlfriend, a very drunk eighteen year old girl that insisted on taking selfie after selfie of she & i. and then there was a family. they were all there, including the mother, who took us on a wild golf cart ride around town. after more laughing & drinking & carrying on we [ eventually ] made our way to bed. much too late, after far too many cans of beer, but happy & in awe of the way things work out.

we woke feeling groggy [ as you can imagine ] & decided we'd move on. we'd seen the town, we didn't want to have to pay for a campsite that night [ we've not had to pay a single night thus far & didn't want to start ] & i wanted to get to lake lure to connect with a friend i'd made on the camino de santiago. so, we spent the first part of the day at the beach playing in the waves &, by 4 o'clock we were on a ferry back to the mainland.

photos. washington, alexandria, berlin, assateague island.

alexandria

washington

berlin

assateage island

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sunrise.

saturday morning, on hattaras island, i woke at sunrise for the second day in a row & i didn't fight it. instead, i slipped into my jeans, slowly made my way to the beach & enjoyed the quiet while i waited for luke to wake.

up to our getting to the outer banks, we hadn't enjoyed as many 'soft' moments as i'd hoped we would, but after that morning in hattaras village i realized we need to make it a priority. it felt therapeutic to just sit with my thoughts.

this trip is not intended to be about seeing as much as we can; we'll never see everything. it is meant to be a journey. it is meant to give us a new perspective. it is meant to bring us closer together after all that has happened. it is meant to be about healing.

going forward let's slow our days. let's take things as they come. let's make time for relaxing, for reading, for simply taking things in. let's really live in the moment. there are so many sights & sounds & smells begging to be appreciated.

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change of pace.

hi all. i'm sorry i have not been writing. coffee shops with wifi are generally expensive [ i'm talking to you, starbucks ], small towns often don't have wifi, & honestly, sometimes i just don't feel like it.

to catch you up, i'll let you know that * we're now on the outer banks, nc, & have been for a few days. at this exact moment we are in hattaras village, on hattaras island. we are sitting in the van, in the beach parking lot, using the ferry terminal free wifi. earlier this morning we were on the front porch of a coffee shop called 'dancing turtle', where we sipped coffee [ i had two because refills were only $1 ] & enjoyed the breeze coming in off the water. i wrote a little there too, & while i did that luke set off on foot to find bread to slather with the peanut butter we've been carrying around for at least two weeks.

since arriving on the outer banks we've been enjoying glorious weather & a slower pace. last night was the fifth in a row we've slept at the beach. the two days & nights prior to this we were in kill devil hill & just before that we spent two nights in cape charles, virginia.

out here, every town we've come across has been near empty. the busy season hasn't yet arrived, & because of that we've met more locals than tourists, have had our pick of spots on the beach & have had many moments where we were the only two people in sight. unfortunately this won't last long as monday is memorial day - the official start to summer.

prior to making our way here, we found a number of our destinations less than desirable. burlington, washington, ocean city & virginia beach were disappointments due to either weather, gaudiness, or number of tourists, but, on a positive note, our going to each of these places is what got us to the smaller towns or suburbs; namely alexandria, berlin & cape charles.

i've told you about both alexandria & berlin in previous posts so i'll touch on assateague island & cape charles here.

assateague island is a state park in virginia where the wild ponies roam [ in actuality, they are feral ponies ]. we spent some time there, on the island, in awe of the beauty of the landscape & the creatures themselves as we made the trip to virginia beach. & though, admittedly, i was a little frightened, [ there were signs everywhere warning visitors not to approach the ponies as they are known to kick & bite ] seeing those ponies in that setting was a dream come true.

as for cape charles, we discovered it by accident. when we stopped to stretch our legs on route to virginia beach, we happened upon a waterfront restaurant. in this restaurant were two patrons, both from the area. she [ sarah ] was a marine biologist [ she hooked us up with guest passes to the aquarium in virginia beach ] & very interested in our trip. in conversation, she mentioned cape charles, the last stop before the chesapeake bay bridge tunnel, & it sounded lovely.

& it was. the town had one true main street which lead to the waterfront & at this waterfront was a stunning beach, complete with sand dunes, a pier that stretched out into the sea, a public restroom & ample free parking. the perfect spot to hunker down a few days. so we did. and, though the weather didn't exactly cooperate those two days, we managed to do a beachfront workout, have an outdoor shower & meet a few lively characters, all of whom we met on one night, the second [ & last ] we were there

these characters were michael, a businessman from baltimore that spends as much time in cape charles as he can get away with [ as his wife / his job will let him get away with ]. he was so kind, so knowledgeable about the area & he offered us a hot shower & a place to sleep should we want to get out of the van for the night.

now enter skip, a local & an acquaintance of michael's. he was in his early sixties, had a sun & salt water worn face & biceps like i'd never seen. he was an oysterman. his accent was the strongest we'd heard yet & i could barely understand him. but i wanted desperately to understand him because i knew he had stories to tell. & he did. he was a recovering opiate addict, he was a father, he was a cancer survivor. he was loud & enthusiastic & generous.

next, enter the captain & his sidekick. as the rain cleared, a building-sized yacht pulled into the harbour. we were enthralled. we all waited with baited breath to see who would step onto the dock. it was two men, both of whom stood out like sore thumbs [ perhaps even more than we did ]. the captain was taking the vessel from florida to new jersey & the sidekick was just along for the ride. though captain was a little uppity, the sidekick was lovely. he was genuinely intrigued by our trip & with our living in ireland [ he is headed there himself ]. he peppered us with questions, which we happily answered &, in return he bought us a beer &, before heading back to the yacht, made a speech about our journey & wished us well. it was really lovely.
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& last but not least, at a pit stop on our way back to the van to sleep, we met hannah; a fun loving twenty-something local. we talked travel, the area & instagram. turns out she has over four thousand followers [ i can't even imagine ] & she [ very smartly ] uses this insta-fame to her benefit. [ if you have been following our instagram page you'll know that the next day she very kindly posted a photo of us, urging her followers to follow us & that this ended up providing us with a very unexpected & exciting experience in virginia beach later that afternoon ].

when we woke to more bad weather we made the difficult decision to leave. on one hand we wanted to stay & hook up with michael [ we had made tentative plans to meet ], but on the other hand, we were chasing the sun & it wasn't due to show up there any time soon, so we emailed michael to say farewell & hit the road again.

* i started writing this in hattaras village but finished it just now in a coffee shop in morehead city.

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